Holding Read online

  “I think it’s cute that you call him Shawn.”

  “Are you kidding? He won’t even answer to Finch. From the start, he had insisted that I call him Shawn.”

  “That’s because he likes you,” she says, dragging out her words, as her voice reaches a higher octave. “You have no idea how excited I am for you two. If you guys were any cuter together, I would die from cuteness overload.”

  I raise an eyebrow at her. “You don’t sound like yourself, Tori. Are you feeling okay?”

  She chuckles. “Oh, God. What is going on with me? I blame it on Bash.”

  “You’re happy. I know the feeling,” I say with a wink.

  As usual, the SAC is overflowing with students, who rush out the front doors. We step to the side, allowing them to pass before we head upstairs to the cafeteria. I made Shawn wait a few days before I would let him tell anyone that I am the girl from the party. But his confession was limited to his inner circles.

  Always the center of attention, Shawn is standing up at the table to demonstrate what I assume is something football related to his teammates, judging by the position of his arm. I laugh because of how animated he is around his friends. This is the Shawn Finch everyone knows, the sexy football player, who always says and does the right things. But he’s so much more than what he portrays to the world.

  Bash gets up from the table when he sees us and raises his hand with a smile. We wave back at him.

  With his back toward us, Shawn slowly turns around, and his eyes find mine, pinning me down with one look. My heart speeds up, and a rush of adrenaline shoots through my veins, burning my skin. The first official meeting with his friends has me so unnerved, even though I technically met them once before. But I hadn’t met them as his girlfriend.

  The entire table stops eating when Shawn hooks his arm around me, their eyes wide and full of acknowledgment. They know I’m the girl, so here comes the awkward part, I guess. Bring it.

  Shawn had promised no one would treat me differently, and that his friends are all good guys who would not judge us. Based on the nods and smiles I get from them, he was right. Still, I am sweating bullets from their intense stares. Everyone wants to know how I nailed down a guy like Finch. Because he’s not Shawn to them. I ask myself that every day. In some ways, Finch is like a unicorn—impossible to catch and easily tamed by a virgin. And he’s all mine.

  “Hey, babe.” Shawn plants a kiss on my lips. “I missed you.”

  “I saw you less than two hours ago.”

  “So, I missed you the second I left the library.” He keeps his voice low enough that no one can hear.

  “Okay, fine. I missed you, too,” I mutter. “But stop drawing more attention to us. Everyone is staring at me like I have something on my face.”

  “They’re just admiring your beauty.” Shawn tucks me into the crook of his arm and kisses my forehead. “And they are probably jealous. Let them be.”

  I laugh at the thought of anyone being jealous of Shawn and me together until I glance down at the end of the table and spot Harper Connelly mean mugging the shit out of me. She has the best resting bitch face I have ever seen. And here I had thought Clarissa was the crowned Queen of Bitchville. Move over, Bitch Mother.

  We take our seats next to Clay and Jessica, who greet me with the usual pleasantries and warm smiles. How does Shawn eat dinner all the time with this many people? There have to be at least twenty people, if not more. I will never keep all their names straight. Shawn goes around the table and introduces me to his teammates and a few of his fraternity brothers, ignoring the girls at the end of our table.

  With Tori and Bash on the other side from us, the tension eases in my body, though that is not saying much with how I feel now. I hate that meeting these people has me so nervous. But I want everything to be perfect now that Shawn and I are together.

  I turn to Shawn and set my hand on his knee. “Did you eat already?”

  “Yeah, I had a burger before you got here. Are you hungry? I can get you something.”

  “No, not if we want to catch the bus. I promised Mrs. Feighry I would have a late dinner with her.”

  “Since she’s the reason you made it to the party, I should be buying her dinner. I owe her big time.”

  “We both do,” I say with a smile. “But tonight is girl’s night. I think she’s making us a Southern meal. It’s not often I get to eat home cooked food that I didn’t have to make.”

  He frowns.

  I squeeze his knee and give it a quick pat, telling him not to worry, even though I know he does.

  “Maybe Mrs. F can help you find a way to escape this weekend so that I can take you on a proper date. She seems to be good at getting you where you need to be.”

  “I don’t even know how to go about getting away from Clarissa without her watching over the front door.”

  “Then, don’t go through the door. If we leave right from school on Friday, that takes Clarissa out of the equation.”

  I snort. “Are you joking? She will have my head if I stay out past my school curfew. I’m lucky if she accounts for issues with the bus schedules, let alone if I don’t show up at all.”

  Shawn lifts my chin with his index finger so that our eyes meet. “Think about it, okay? I’m sure we can find some way to be together outside of this campus.”

  Even though he doesn’t mean anything by his statement, it stings a little knowing I am holding him back from having a normal relationship. He could go on dates with other girls, but he chose me, the girl on permanent house arrest.

  “I’m sorry, Shawn. I hate that Clarissa controls so much of my life. Let me talk to Mrs. F. She always has a few tricks up her sleeve.”

  He hooks his arm around my back and pulls me tight against his side. Despite the winter chill in the air, his body is warm. I want this date more than anything. Shawn deserves this, and we both deserve to be happy.

  No relationship can exist in this constant holding pattern. Punishment until graduation is worth it when one night alone with Shawn is my reward. I was planning to sneak out for the Spring Formal. How is this different?

  Just thinking about having legitimate time alone with Shawn outside of school makes me giddy with excitement. We need this date. So, I have to find a way around Clarissa and her rules.

  As per the usual, Shawn rides home with me, kisses me good night in front of my gate, and then heads back to campus. I feel horrible about him doing this every night. But he was right about needing this time to study. It has done wonders for his grades. We spend most of the time reading or catching up on assignments, only speaking when he needs help with something until we reach the final stop.

  All the lights are on at Mrs. Feighry’s house, unlike my house that is as dark and depressing as the women who occupy it. The driveway is steep and requires more of a workout than mine to reach the main house. For only one person, this estate is far too big.

  Slightly out of breath, I raise my hand to knock on the tall wooden door.

  Mrs. F answers after the first knock with Bruno in her arms. She rubs behind his ears, as he leans into her hand, begging for more. “Ella, darling, I’m so glad you could make it this time.” Her face lights up with excitement.

  “Sorry about canceling the last few times. You know how evil my stepmother can be, and she has been even worse than normal.”

  “You are far too old to have a dictator like her controlling your life.” She moves to the side and holds her hand out, gesturing for me to come inside.

  The house is so warm it’s like stepping into a fire compared to the usual chill in my house. Clarissa has so much ice in her veins that she sets the thermostat to a sub zero temperature only she can tolerate. Some winters the pipes freeze from only using space heaters in certain rooms.

  “I wish there were something I could do, but I have to wait her out until after graduation.”

  “You could live here,” she offers, and my heart beats fast from her generosity.

  “T
hat is so sweet of you, but I cannot put you in that position.”

  “It’s not an imposition, my dear. I would love to have you here.” Bruno stirs in her arms and barks. “See, even Bruno would love to have you come live with us.”

  Walking side by side with Mrs. F, I rub my hands together to warm them, as she guides me toward the back of the house. “If only things were different. I have school and need the small stipend Clarissa gives me each week to get to the university and buy food. I don’t want to cross her after everything I have endured to get to this point.” I clamp my hand down on her shoulder and smile. “I appreciate the offer. You have no idea how much I do. Don’t worry about me. I will get by. If I was able to last this long, I can manage two more months.”

  I shrug my jacket off and hang it over a chair at the round kitchen table that seats four people.

  Mrs. F plops down into a chair and lowers Bruno to the floor. “I thought we could have some tea before dinner. The roast is still in the oven. It should only be another twenty minutes or so.”

  A tea set is already waiting in the center of the table with two cups on saucers in front of each place setting.

  I take a seat next to Mrs. F and sink into the comfortable fabric. “That sounds perfect. I could use a cup of tea right about now.”

  “You must be tired after such a long day.”

  “Beyond tired,” I mutter, fixing myself a cup. “I haven’t had much sleep lately, and my schedule this semester is heavier than last.”

  “You shouldn’t overload yourself too much. Go out and enjoy yourself. When I was your age, I was out with my friends, having a good time.”

  “I only have one friend, and it’s not like Clarissa would ever let her step foot inside my house, let alone allow me to hang out with her. You know her rules for the weekends, dating, and life in general.”

  She takes a sip from her cup with her pinky finger raised in the air, reminding me of my mother who did the same thing. “I want to help you whether you want it or not. If I have to march over there and talk some sense into that vile woman on your behalf, believe me, I will. I cannot stand to see you go through this all alone.”

  “I’m not alone. I have you and Shawn.”

  She smiles at the mention of his name. “I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am that things turned out well for you and that boy.”

  “It was all because of you, Mrs. F. I owe everything to you. Thank you.” I pat her hand, holding mine over hers for a few seconds before I inch away to give her some space.

  “I was happy to do it, and I would do it again.”

  “Well, now that you mention it, I could use some help this weekend.”

  She leans forward and rests her arm on the table. “Whatever you need I will do my best.”

  “Shawn asked me out on a date. He thinks I should not go home on Friday after school to avoid dealing with Clarissa.”

  “Smart boy,” she says. “I agree with him. You saw what happened the last time you tried to go somewhere. Those awful girls ripped your dress to shreds and sent you out the door to cry alone in the garden. You deserve better than what you have, Ella.”

  “I know,” I say, deflated. “But this is all I have until I can leave for something better.”

  “As you know, I’m a very wealthy woman. Money is no object for me. I can give you what you need.”

  “Thank you. For now, I need a way out of my house without Clarissa finding out.”

  “Just do as your boyfriend had suggested and don’t go home on Friday.”

  “Clarissa’s wrath will be worse if I do that. It would only make her punishment worse.”

  “These old homes all have back stairwells. I’m sure you could sneak down from your bedroom without Clarissa noticing.”

  “That is where you would come in. I need you to ring the doorbell for Clarissa to leave the sitting room so that I can sneak out the back door. Natasha and Anastasia are leaving Friday night for a sorority sleepover and won’t be back until Sunday afternoon. As long as I’m home before she wakes up in the morning and her breakfast is ready, Clarissa won’t even notice.”

  “Just let me know what time on Friday, and I will be there.” Mrs. F grins and gets up from the table to deal with the buzzer on the oven, sounding our dinner is ready.

  Now that Operation Free Ella is in the works, I will need something to wear.

  “Any chance you have another dress I can wear?”

  Mrs. F spins around with a fork in her hand. Her face brightens with the smile that reaches up to her eyes. “Of course. I have something fabulous that would look lovely on you. I have just the dress in mind.”

  I walk over to Mrs. F and pull her into a hug, dodging the metal in her hand. “There are not enough words to express my appreciation because this goes beyond a thank you. But I will find a way to make this up to you.”

  “Just having you here is thanks enough. It gets lonely in this old house with only Bruno here to keep me company.”

  Releasing my grip on her, I offer a tiny smile.

  My mother always said that sometimes people take you by surprise when you least expect. I didn’t expect to meet Mrs. Feighry or have a shot with Shawn, let alone a relationship. Everything is finally falling into place, even if a few things are still in the way.

  “One more thing. I need to get through the gates without the alarm going off.”

  “There are other ways to get onto your property. How do you think I found you that night in the garden?”

  I shake my head and laugh. “Would you mind sharing? I could use that bit of information.”

  She sticks the fork into the roast to anchor it and slices the meat with a knife. “There’s a trap door of sorts that connects the properties. You can come and go as you please if you know where to look.”

  “How did you know about it?”

  “This house has been in my family for generations, my dear. Don’t let my accent fool you. I was born and raised in the South, but my family’s roots are up North.”

  It takes me a minute before her words sink in. If the house has been in her family, then it has also been in mine. We are somehow related.

  Shocked and unable to process her words, I stare at her, unblinking. “I don’t understand. No one on either side of my family is named Feighry.”

  “I’m your father’s aunt and godmother. My maiden name is Fitzgerald, just like you. I promised your grandmother that I would look after your father when I accepted my role as his godmother, and I failed him. But I have a chance to make it up with you.”

  I hold onto the edge of the counter to stabilize myself. “Why didn’t you say something before?”

  “I wasn’t sure you would believe me. Your grandmother had stopped talking to your father after he married your mother, and I didn’t want to get in the middle of their fight. It wasn’t until after I lost my husband that I understood the heartbreak that comes with losing the one you love most. If I had known about your stepmother, I would have come sooner.”

  “You are here now. That’s all that matters.” A brief pause passes between us where Mrs. F continues to cut the meat, and I try not to pass out from the shock of the situation.

  Once I collect my thoughts and get my breathing to return to normal, I ask, “Did you say your name is Katherine?”

  “Yes, but most people call me Kay.”

  I hold my hand over my mouth, my eyes wide in shock, and lower it slowly back to my side. “Auntie Kay.” My eyes fill with tears. “You practically raised my dad. He said such nice things about you. I even have pictures of you two together.”

  She nods and gives me a closed lip smile. “Your grandmother was a horrible mother. She was mean and cold like your stepmother. With your grandfather working as much as he did, he was never around to help. I doubt he would have bothered even if he had the time. He did just about anything he could to get out of raising his kids, and your grandmother was no better.”

  “My dad said she was a big drinker.”r />
  She snorts. “That’s an understatement. Pamela could drink grown men under the table. My brother was just as bad. When he wasn’t out cheating on Pamela or hiding in his office, he was fixing himself another bourbon. It wasn’t until he shut out your grandmother that she picked up one of his many bad habits.”

  For most of my life, I only had my parents and the memories of their pasts. I was too young when my mom died to get to know her as well as my dad. He often spoke of his Auntie Kay, and at times, he would show me aged photographs of them together. Hearing him call her that, even at his age, had always made me laugh. Now, I can see why he did. Mrs. F feels like an Auntie, and it suits her.

  “Are you ready to eat, my dear? I don’t know about you, but I am starved.”

  “Yes, Auntie Kay,” I say with a smile that she returns.

  “It has been a long time since anyone called me that. I like that much better than Mrs. F.”

  Everything in my life is finally starting to make sense. I thought it was weird for a complete stranger to come out from my bushes to save me at the perfect moment. I never had much luck. Between Auntie Kay and Finch, my luck is changing for the better.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Shawn

  As I pull up Mrs. F’s driveway and park in the semi-circle out front of the door, my heart pounds with nervous anticipation. I worry about Ella and the witch she lives with, keeping my fingers crossed that she made it out the back door. I step down from my SUV and tug at the tie that has all of a sudden become too tight around my neck.

  For several reasons, I am nervous. Getting Ella out of her house is my primary concern. But the wrath of her stepmother if she finds out terrifies me even more. Now that Ella has family on her side, I can only hope that Mrs. F has done her part and helped her find the entrance onto her property.

  Before I reach the door, Ella comes outside in a white wool coat that goes down past her knees. Her legs are bare, so she must be wearing a dress underneath. With chattering teeth, she dashes toward me and into my arms, wrapping herself around me like a koala.