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  “Like he’s too good for everyone,” I joke, though I mean it.

  He nods. “Yup. He’s such a cocky bastard.”

  “You are better than him, E. So, I don’t see why it would bother you.”

  I was attracted to Ethan from the start. It’s hard not to be with his rugged good looks and lazy grins that slice into my chest. What had started out as me writing M + E in my notebook soon became his nickname. Ethan never corrects me when I call him that. Sometimes, he calls me his little lamb. I don’t get the reference, but I like it. I like that we have a special connection.

  He cocks an eyebrow at me. “You think so?”

  I bob my head. “I know so, and I’m not just saying that because I like you and my brother gives me a hard time. I have watched all of your games over the past year and some of your practices. You and my brother will go pro together. I do not doubt it.”

  Ethan sighs. “I will miss you, Mia.”

  His words hit me like a punch to the gut. How do I respond? Confused and upset, I choose to ignore his comment.

  Ethan grabs my hand and holds it until our feet hit the ground. “I’m leaving right after graduation.”

  My heart plummets into my chest when I count down the days. Four more days. I have four more days with Ethan. I cannot breathe, the sickness rising from the back of my throat, choking me. He cannot do this to me.

  No. Please. Don’t leave me.

  I want to say all of this to Ethan, but the words never come out.

  “Promise me that you will meet me here after my graduation party. I don’t want to waste a second of the time we have left.”

  “Okay, I’ll be here.”

  Ethan squeezes my hand once more and smiles. “Good. Now, tell me about your day. I want to hear all about it. Give me the worst and best moments.”

  I suck in a deep breath, holding it far too long before I let it out. The worst part of my day now has to do with Ethan, but I can’t bring myself to tell him the truth. We have four days together. I cannot ruin them.

  “Well, I already told you one of the best.”

  He chuckles. “If hanging out with me is even in your top five, then I can’t imagine the worst one.”

  I smile through the fear and pain of losing Ethan and hope that our last night together is one that I will remember forever.

  * * *

  After helping my mother clean up the mess left over from Will’s graduation party, I have trouble keeping my eyes open. But I have to push through if I want to see Ethan before he leaves for wherever he’s headed. He still hasn’t told me where he’s going, and I have been too afraid to ask.

  My brother hasn’t said a word about it either, which is weird. Doesn’t Will know that Ethan is going somewhere? Or is he only saying goodbye to our secret friendship? I haven’t been able to concentrate since Ethan hit me with that bomb. I knew our nights together would end at some point. Still, I am not ready for him to leave me. I need him. Ethan Waters is my only real friend.

  My mom hands me the last dish to dry and leans against the counter with a loud groan. “What a long day, huh? I have one kid graduating from high school and the other on her way there. My children are growing up too fast. I wish you could stay this age forever.”

  I wipe the last beads of water from the ceramic dish and reach up on my tippy toes to put it in the cabinet with the rest of the baking pans.

  “Unfortunately, you are stuck with me for a few more years,” I deadpan.

  She laughs and pushes herself away from the island in the center of the kitchen, moving toward me. Mom wraps her arms around me and squeezes the life from my body, her warmth leeching into my skin the tighter she holds me. “My kids are growing up too fast.” She releases me from her grip and takes a step back. “Well, I think I’m going to take a shower before bed. Don’t stay up too late watching TV.”

  It’s the weekend, so I have more freedom than if it were a school night. Plus, school is almost over. Will graduated this afternoon, but my middle school has another week left until summer vacation begins.

  “I won’t. Maybe I will do the same.”

  “Okay, kiddo. Goodnight.”

  “Night, Mom.”

  My dad was out back with a few of his friends the last time I saw him. I hope he’s not planning to hang out there all night, throwing horseshoes and drinking like he does when we have parties. That would screw up my time with Ethan.

  After my mom leaves the kitchen, Will comes stumbling in with a petite blonde girl on his arm. She reminds me of a Barbie with her perfect hair, teeth, and skin. Will has a type—hot and easy—and this girl meets his basic requirements.

  “Will,” she giggles, smacking him on the arm. “Stop it.” She lowers her voice and glances at me. “Not in front of your sister.”

  He has his hands all over her, and I want to vomit on the spot. Gross. I hate seeing my brother engaged in public displays of affection with mystery girls.

  “I’m in the room, too, thank you very much, William Matthew Roman,” I say, wiping my hands on a dishtowel hung on the wall next to the sink.

  Will snaps his head around to face me, searching my face. “Nothing you haven’t seen before, baby sis.” He winks. Jerk.

  I step toward him, the stench of beer coming out of his pores, and wave my hand in front of my face. “You reek, Will.”

  “Wait until you’re in high school, kid. You will be doing the same thing.” He stops to reconsider his comment. “Don’t do the same thing when you are my age. And stay far away from guys like me.”

  I laugh. “No problem. I can do both without batting an eyelash.”

  The blonde girl hops up and onto the counter, her sandals falling off her feet the more comfortable she gets. She pulls my brother to her and giggles again, nestling her face in the crook of his neck when he steps between her legs. She’s dressed in a top that could pass as a bra and shorts that ride up her long legs. Definitely Will’s type.

  “I’m out of here,” I tell my brother, disgusted.

  He doesn’t look over his shoulder to see me exit the kitchen because he’s too busy mauling Barbie’s twin. At least Ethan didn’t show up here with a date. Well, he didn’t show at all. His parents threw a huge bash downtown to celebrate the occasion. My parents said it was so they could show everyone how much money they have to spend on a silly party.

  Unlike Ethan’s family, who are mega successful and rich, my parents are your average working class people. I had always wondered why people with that kind of money could be so unhappy.

  Once I climb the stairs and fall onto my bed, I push the curtain aside to peek out the window. Ethan’s bedroom faces mine. The light is on with his shades closed. I wish I had a way to get his attention. So, I sit and wait for him to make a move.

  Twenty minutes later, the light flicks off in Ethan’s room, leaving the space between us in darkness. I hear my father laughing between the clinks of the metal horseshoes hitting the posts in the backyard.

  When I hear the hum of Ethan’s Mustang, the loud engine roaring to life, a pang of nerves hits me in the chest. Ethan is leaving. The bottom of his car scrapes the driveway as he reverses into the street. His wheels spin, the sound of rubber burning the asphalt causing me to jump. Ethan only does that when he’s angry or after he gets into a fight with his father. He cares too much about his car to ruin it.

  Just like that, Ethan Waters drives away, taking my heart along with him.

  3

  Ethan

  Ten years ago

  I am an asshole. I should turn back and say goodbye to Mia. But I can’t. It’s better if she doesn’t know the reason I have to leave and why I have to run away from the new life I built in Pennsylvania. She would hate me if she knew the truth. So, it’s better this way. She can hate me for an entirely different reason.

  Soon enough, Mia will be off to high school and have new friends. I cringe at the thought of her having a boyfriend. I can’t have her, but that doesn’t make me want her any
less. Maybe someday. We have too many barriers in front of us, blocking us at every turn. She’s too young. My best friend’s little sister. Mia is a world full of trouble when I already have enough shit of my own to deal with. She deserves better than me.

  As I drive down I-95, I change lanes to get around the tortoise hogging up the left lane. My mind wanders between Mia and my new destination. Hockey camp was the best excuse I could come up with when I told Will I was leaving. The lie was my father’s suggestion. Even Will didn’t understand the sudden change of plans. We were supposed to attend college together. The men’s ice hockey coach at Strickland University was expecting us both up until four days ago.

  All it takes is one life-altering mistake to ruin everything. I didn’t expect one night to change my life. But it did.

  4

  Mia

  Ten years later

  After another shitty day at the Philadelphia Inquirer, I come home to my apartment that smells like a Chinese restaurant. My stomach growls from the scent of General Tso’s chicken rising from the ground floor. I reach into my bag, pull out three dollars, and sigh when I realize I can’t even afford dinner. At least payday is on Friday.

  I lean against the wall by the front door and strip off my lace-up canvas boots. Starting at my knees, I tug at the fabric until each row finally gives, relieving me of the pressure. For the past eight hours, I stood behind the counter at Liberty Records, counting down the seconds before I could escape.

  As an investigative journalist in training, I have been looking for my big break, the one story that will propel my career. I followed a tip from a trusted source about a drug dealer that peddles heroin through the store. But my lead either dried up or the dealer was suspicious about a new girl working the counter.

  Who sells drugs out of a record store? That was my boss’ first question when I’d pitched the idea to him. What a waste of a day. I could have worked freelance to earn some extra cash. Instead, I ate Cheetos and drank stale coffee while I listened to vinyl records and pretended to blend in with the staff.

  Exhausted, I stagger into the kitchen and open the freezer. Given my lack of choices, I remove the bottle of vodka and a TV dinner and set them on the counter. If I’m lucky, I will make it until the end of the week without having to bum some cash from my parents. The thought makes me cringe.

  As I shut the freezer door, an unwelcome banging on the floor below causes me to jump. Living in the city, with all the car horns and noises, takes some getting used to. My parents moved to Arizona for retirement, leaving my brother and me behind. I rented this shithole in hopes it would be a temporary situation. That was two years ago.

  Still startled and on edge, I yelp when my cell phone rings. I pull the phone from my pocket and check the Caller ID. It’s my older brother.

  “What do you want?”

  “Hey, baby sis,” Will yells into the phone, slurring his words. “Is that any way to talk to the person who helped you with your homework when you were a kid?”

  I laugh. “I wouldn’t gloat for too long. Look how far that got me.” The sounds of rap music assault my eardrum, making it harder to hear Will over the people screaming around him. “Where are you?” I shout over the noise.

  A beat passes between us where I listen to the song change over before Will speaks again. “I need to stay with you for a while. My apartment flooded, and now, I’m homeless until the condo association fixes the damage. I was able to grab a bag of clothes and get out before part of the ceiling collapsed.”

  “You’re messing with me, right?” This sounds like one of the many stories Will has told me over the years to screw with me. He says I will fall for anything. And Will loves to exploit my weakness.

  “No, not this time. The old lady upstairs fell asleep in her tub with the water running. I wasn’t home when it happened. Not like it would have made a difference. Can I come stay or what?”

  With our parents over two thousand miles away, what choice do I have?

  “Yeah, I guess so. When are you coming over?”

  “I’m at McFadden’s for happy hour.”

  “Get your ass here before I go to bed. I had the day from hell, and I am not staying up all night waiting around for your drunk ass.”

  “Whatever you say, Boss. We’ll be there in a few hours.”

  After I hang up, it hits me that Will said we, as in he plans to bring someone to my apartment. That shit won’t fly with me. I agreed to let my brother stay here, not one of his one-night stands. While I have two bedrooms, they are tiny and barely enough space for me. Will can forget about me doing his dirty work for him in the morning.

  * * *

  A few hours pass before a knock at the door pulls me from my nap on the couch. I glance at the digital clock on the end table and sigh. As usual, Will did not keep his promise. He would be late for his funeral.

  Wiping the sleep from my eyes, I stagger toward the front door in pink polka dot pajamas and slippers. I gasp at the sight of Ethan Waters standing next to my brother. He left me ten years ago. Then, he showed up five years later as if nothing had happened. Not even an explanation. He was cocky and arrogant and nothing like the boy I once knew. I hate him now. The sight of him alone makes my skin burn with anger.

  Ever since I moved out of my parent’s house, I have avoided Ethan at all costs. On occasion, he would stop over with Will when they weren’t on the road with their team. Distance and time are what I’d needed from Ethan. Now, this fucker is standing on my doorstep, expecting a place to sleep off his hangover. I don’t think so.

  I point at Ethan while speaking to Will. “What is he doing here? I said you could come—not this idiot.”

  “Let me in, you pirate hooker,” Ethan slurs, as he pushes past me to get inside. He stumbles, tripping over his feet, and somehow regains his balance.

  “You are the most infuriating person I have ever met,” I yell at him. My face twists in disgust. “Of all the people to show up with Will, it had to be you. I would have preferred one of his puck bunnies.”

  “Don’t get your panties twisted,” he hisses, with one eye open. “Or I’ll have to rip them off you.” He walks away from me and into the kitchen, so of course, I follow behind Ethan.

  “Gross,” I shout. “Like I would let you touch me. Who knows what disease-ridden skanks you were hanging out with tonight.”

  “Can you two get along for five minutes?” Will says from behind me. “This situation sucks, but we have to make the best of it.”

  I narrow my eyes at Will. “Wait, you think this jerk is staying here?”

  “He doesn’t have anywhere to go.”

  “He has a credit card and a contract from the Flyers. I should be staying with one of you, not the other way around. I agreed to let you sleep here, Will, not the manwhore of Philadelphia. I might contract something if he stays with us. God knows where he has been.”

  Is my brother any better? Not really. In fact, he might even be worse than Ethan. More often than not, Will lands on the pages of my newspaper with a girl on his arm.

  Ethan stalks toward me. “You wish you could have me, Princess. Bitter isn’t a good look for you.”

  “I hate you,” I scream, not realizing my anger.

  “No, you don’t.” Ethan throws his hands onto his hips, drawing my attention to his thick chest and muscular arms.

  Why does someone so attractive have to be so damn annoying? After all the years of me hating Ethan and him being a dick in return, I cannot stand the sight of Ethan fucking Waters. He knows he’s God’s gift to women. And he is, which makes me hate him even more. Fucker.

  Will and Ethan raid my fridge for a few minutes before they realize I have nothing to offer.

  “Speaking of credit cards,” Will says, “why don’t you use yours to buy some food?”

  “Because I have school loans, rent, a car payment, and a no money left on my credit card. If you two are going to stay here, you can at least buy food. I can’t afford to take care of you.�
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  “We will get you some food tomorrow,” Will mumbles. “I hate to see you living like this. Why didn’t you say something, Mia?”

  “Food would be great. Enough about my living situation, Will. I don’t need another brotherly lecture.”

  Will reaches for the bottle of vodka in my freezer, but I steal it away from him.

  “You’ve had enough to drink tonight.” I tuck the bottle back in place and shut the freezer door. “I made up the bed for you in the guest room. Why don’t you get some sleep? I have to get up early for work.”

  “Me, too,” Will slurs, holding on to me for support.

  I stare at him, confused. His season ended last week. Damn, he’s drunk.

  Leaving Ethan in the kitchen, I escort Will into the bedroom. The room is small, not much larger than a decently sized walk-in-closet. Will stumbles into the dark room and walks into the metal bed frame, hitting his shin hard.

  “Fuck,” he yells and falls onto the mattress, grabbing his leg with both hands.

  I sit down next to him and turn on the bedside lamp. The dim light casts a shadow on his face. We look nothing alike. My brother has our father’s chestnut colored hair and hazel irises, while I have our mother’s dirty blonde hair and light blue eyes.

  “Do you want me to grab you a glass of water and some Tylenol?”

  He shakes his head and sinks into the pillow, staring up at me with one eye open. “No, I’m good. Goodnight, baby sis.”

  I strip off his shoes, throw them onto the floor, and push myself up from the bed. “Night, big bro.”

  Will is snoring by the time I close the door behind me. For a few seconds, I forget what awaits me in the kitchen. Until I find Ethan, sitting on the counter, pounding the bottle of vodka I took from Will. Asshole.

  Ethan holds it up to his lips and winks at me. He drinks most of the remaining liquid just to spite me.